It is Tuesday, Nov 22. It’s about 2 in the afternoon. I am sitting here just feeling like a failure. I have trouble trying to describe what I am feeling. I know it in my mind but for some reason, the words won’t come. Or they won’t come out as natural as they used to. I should have been in Sweden this past weekend but my doctor found me unfit to travel. I’m a head case. Not like a nut but my brain isn’t healing like as fast as I would like it to. I feel real bad because I know I have let people down. I can hardly look at my brother or my dad at this point. I’m ruining my mom’s and my girlfriend’s life in Sweden by not being there. There is just a lot of pain and I feel like I am the source of that. I know I am. I see it all around me. Just hoping I can heal quicker. Dumb head.
